If there’s one thing we Brits excel at, besides queuing and brewing a proper cup of tea, it’s inventing and enthusiastically participating in bizarre sports that leave the rest of the world scratching their heads. Perhaps it’s the damp climate that leads to bouts of eccentricity but whatever the reason, the UK boasts an array of perfectly potty pastimes that are as bewildering as they are entertaining.
Cheese Rolling: A Dairy Descent of Daring Proportions
Imagine a serene hillside in Gloucestershire. Now picture a seven-pound wheel of Double Gloucester cheese hurtling down this hill at breakneck speed. Hurtling down after it a hoard of thrill-seekers chasing after it as if their very lives depend on it. This is the spectacle that is Cheese Rolling.
The Cooper’s Hill Cheese Rolling and Wake, held annually near the village of Brockworth, epitomises British eccentricity. Victims, sorry, participants line up at the top of a steep, muddy slope. The cheese is released and chaos ensues. Legs flail, bodies tumble and spectators wince as brave souls plummet down the hill sometimes reaching speeds that would make a downhill skier proud. The goal? To try and catch the cheese. It rarely happens and in practice the first to cross the finish line wins the wheel.
The origins of this fabulously ridiculous event are shrouded in mystery with some claiming it dates back to Roman times or even pagan rituals celebrating spring’s arrival. Whatever its beginnings the tradition has endured, much to the delight of spectators and the chagrin of local emergency services.
The International Birdman: Taking the Plunge with Homemade Wings
The English seaside has long been associated with simple and whimsical pleasures such as sandcastles, ice cream and paddling in freezing grey waters. Over in Bognor Regis however, the traditional beach outing has taken a nosedive into the bizarre with the International Birdman competition.
This event invites participants to launch themselves off the end of a pier, strapped to homemade flying contraptions in a bid to achieve human-powered flight. *Spoiler alert* most end up in the sea within seconds. The spirit of human ingenuity is alive and well and contestants don everything from giant feathers and cardboard wings to more sophisticated aeronautical designs.
The Birdman competition originated in the 1970s and while it has evolved over the years, the aim remains the same, to travel as far as possible before an inevitable splashdown. Categories include the Kingfisher Class for serious competitors and the Leonardo da Vinci Class for those with a penchant for the preposterous. It’s a spectacle of creativity, courage and comedic catastrophic crashes, a fitting tribute to Great British eccentricity.
The World Bog Snorkelling Championships: Taking the Plunge into Peaty Depths
If there’s one thing that screams “British,” it’s the ability to transform the mundane into the marvellous. The World Bog Snorkelling Championships held in Llanwrtyd Wells, Wales is a case in point.
Participants in this quirky contest don wetsuits and snorkels before diving into a water-filled trench cut through a peat bog. The objective? To complete two lengths of the 60-yard trench using only flipper power. Conventional swimming strokes are strictly prohibited adding an extra layer of absurdity to the already perfectly preposterous pursuit.
This annual event began in 1985 as a way to attract visitors to the small town of Llanwrtyd Wells. Over the years it has grown in popularity, inexplicitly drawing competitors from around the globe. There’s something delightfully daft about a bunch of determined individuals floundering through murky waters all in the name of sport.
Royal Shrovetide Football: A Medieval Madness in Motion
Every Shrove Tuesday and Ash Wednesday the otherwise tranquil town of Ashbourne in Derbyshire transforms into a battleground for Royal Shrovetide Football. It’s a sport that traces its origins back to at least the 12th century. This isn’t your typical football match, though. It’s a free-for-all involving hundreds of players, two goals set three miles apart and few rules.
The game begins with the ball, a hand-painted, cork-filled creation being “turned up” in the town centre. From there chaos ensues. The two teams, the Up’Ards and Down’Ards, battle to manoeuvre the ball to their respective goals. The “pitch” is the entire town and matches can last for up to eight hours each day.
Scoring a goal is a rare feat. Participants often find themselves wading through rivers, clambering over walls and enduring physical confrontations reminiscent of medieval skirmishes. The event is a fantastic blend of medieval tradition and giddy unchecked enthusiasm.
Worm Charming: Luring the Lowly Earthworm to the Surface
Imagine, if you would, a scene straight out of the more eccentric annals of British tradition. In the unassuming village of Willaston in Cheshire, a curious event occurs annually. This event could only be British in its charming oddity, ‘The World Worm Charming Championships’. Yep.
Picture a lush green field. This field is dotted with participants. Participents armed not with fishing rods or spades but with fiddles, bottles of water and even tuning forks. These not-at-all-strange charmers are tasked with coaxing the earthworms to the surface. They employ an eclectic mix of techniques that range from rhythmic tapping to the more melodic strains of a violin.
The rules are straightforward. Competitors have 30 minutes to lure as many worms as possible from their assigned patch of earth. Simple. Since its humble beginnings in 1980, this wormsical contest has grown into a beloved event, attracting charmers from far and wide.
The current record is a brain boggling 567 worms, set in 2009 and remains a benchmark of ‘excellence’ in this peculiar sport. There is no limit to the talent we British have for taking the mundane and transforming it into something stupendously entertaining.
Shin Kicking: A Medieval Test of Mettle
For those of us that believe that modern sports lack a certain visceral thrill allow me to introduce you to the noble art of shin kicking. This ancient pastime which dates back to the early 17th century, is exactly what it sounds like, two contestants grab each other by the shoulders and proceed to kick the dickens out of each other’s shins until one falls to the ground in agony or concedes defeat. Brilliant!
The Cotswold Olimpick Games held annually in Chipping Campden, are the spiritual home of shin kicking. Participants are required to stuff their trousers with straw to soften the blows although this does little to diminish the bruising brutality of the sport. It’s a curious blend of eyewatering endurance and sheer dumb masochism along with a generous helping of British ‘stoicism’.
Shin kicking has evolved over the centuries but its essence remains unchanged. It’s a throwback to a time when sports were as much about pain tolerance as skill. And of course, it’s a jolly good laugh for the spectators.
The Joy of British Eccentricity
These wonderfully weird sports are an example of the British spirit of innovation and eccentricity. They reflect a culture that embraces the absurd and finds joy in the unexpected. Whether it’s tumbling down a hill in pursuit of a runaway cheese, plunging into a bog with flippers and snorkel or kicking shins with wild abandon these events encapsulate the unique charm of the British character.
So, the next time you find yourself grumbling about the predictability of modern sports and the domination by a team or individual take heart and know that somewhere in the British countryside someone is strapping on a pair of homemade wings, picking up a worm charming stick or bracing for a shin-kicking contest. In the arena of sport, as in life, it’s often the oddities that bring the most joy.